Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
jump out the window naked night went bad
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
