Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
