he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
