The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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