You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
