No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
