I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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