How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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