The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
