Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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