i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
