It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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