No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
