So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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