so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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