Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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