You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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