I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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