her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
