Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.