I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
