Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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