Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
