He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
