he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
