Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
