my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is the high leading the old right now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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