If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
