I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I look better un-naked...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
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He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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