i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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