Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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