We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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