Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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