I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
