I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
