North Korea, Best Korea!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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