I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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