I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
