this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
