Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I could fuck to npr.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
