U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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