Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just gargled with NyQuil
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
