i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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