i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
