my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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