yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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