If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
