New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
