Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
