Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
