She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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