Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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