i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
