I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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