the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
