i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
