the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
