My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
