Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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