Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
