I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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