I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
