Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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