my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
