So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
