So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
