If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
