thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
