Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
