oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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