Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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